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Jeremy Clarkson takes a look at the Qubo in the Sunday Times while Angus Frazer tackles the downturn with a trip in a Lamborghini.
Reading the handbook for the Fiat Qubo reminds Clarkson of what a nanny state we now live in.
“In my youth I remember being told by Harold Wilson not to put a rug on a shiny floor, and by Rolf Harris to learn to swim.
“But the sheer volume of finger-wagging today is incredible. We are constantly being told not to smoke, not to eat too much salt, not to drink and drive, not to ignore our tax returns, not to play with fireworks, not to stay in third gear and not to spend all day watching television when we could be up in our loft with a mile of lagging.
“Then, this morning, while reading the handbook for the new Fiat Qubo, I discovered that behind the scenes, things are even worse.
“It’s like any normal handbook for a car. Written for tribes in the Amazon, and Martians, there is advice on how to start the engine and what the speedometer does, but buried away in the middle of a fascinating passage on how to use the seats, I discovered a little nugget that said the car is equipped with a “European On Board Diagnosis” system.
“It sounds harmless. A little light comes on to tell owners when an emission-related component is wearing out. But then it goes on to say, casually, that a log of the engine operation is kept … and can be “accessed by traffic police”.
“I’m probably worrying unnecessarily but does this mean Dixon of Dock Green can now hook a laptop up to your engine management system and see how fast you have been travelling?
“If it does, the good news is that if you have a Fiat Qubo, Jim Bergerac can dig about in the wiring as much as he likes, because he’s going to find that since you bought the car you have never broken the speed limit once. This is because it’d be like trying to break the speed limit while riding a cow.”
Angus Frazer in the Sunday Express looked at Lamborghini.
“There is only one place in the whole world where no one pays any attention when you drive up in a Lamborghini and that’s the Lamborghini factory. Everywhere else, including the company’s hometown of Sant’Agata in Northern Italy, Lamborghinis cause a commotion whenever they appear.
“It is, quite simply, impossible to make a quiet, discreet arrival in one of the famous Italian supercars, whether it’s a Gallardo or the more expensive, larger Murciélago. Even at low speeds the engine will give the game away, rumbling like the sound of judgment day approaching, which instantly causes heads to turn.
“There is only one way to cause a bigger stir and that is to arrive in a Lamborghini convertible with the roof down. People standing on the pavement draw their camera phones faster than gunslingers. For the driver there is no hiding place. That’s why Lamborghini might have a problem with this new Gallardo LP560 Spyder.
“It’s not that Lamborghini customers have suddenly become shy and retiring types. It’s not even that many of them can no longer afford the £149,500 asking price or at least manage to obtain finance in this tough climate. The problem is that many no longer wish to be seen spending that sort of money.
After all it doesn’t look good closing a factory one day and buying a new Lamborghini drop-top the next, even if you can still afford it.”
Frazer continues: “Worldwide the company certainly acknowledges that 2009 will be a challenge, with sales of all luxury goods, from watches to yachts, from pens to supercars, down by almost half. Its products are hardly what you would call one of life’s bare necessities. At the end of the day the new Lamborghini Gallardo LP560 Spyder is just a rich person’s toy.
“But what a toy it is. How Lamborghini weathers these turbulent financial times remains to be seen. For the foreseeable future there will be no four-door saloon model to compete with the likes of Porsche’s Panamera and Aston Martin’s Rapide as originally predicted – the Estoque concept car revealed at last year’s Paris Motor Show will remain just a design study.
“But the company is about to introduce the world’s fastest one-make race series with the Gallardo racing car and we’re likely to see lighter, faster limited editions of both the Gallardo and the Murciélago over the next 12 months.
“Indeed, just before the introduction of this Spyder the company also unveiled the stunning grey and orange £254,725, 650bhp, Murciélago LP650 Roadster, hardly the actions of a car firm overly worried about falling sales.”
Ken Gibson in The Sun tried out a VW Golf GTI to see why it is the best hot hatch in the world.
“It may not be the fastest, the most stylish or even have the best handling. But as an all-round package it is unbeatable.
“The GTI is the stylishly civilised model for grown-up boy racers who don’t need to shout how speedy their car is. It has become a symbol of what gives Volkswagen the edge over other mainstream manufacturers, and 1.7million sales since 1976 is the best testimony to how successful it has been.”
“In this respect, the new version is quite simply the best ever GTI. The engine may appear the same on paper, but, trust me, this one moves the game on. The two-litre turbo charge petrol has 11bhp more power at 208, which takes you from 0 to 62mph in 6.9 seconds and adds an extra 2mph to the top speed at 149mph.
“But it is the engine’s range of performance that impresses. You can cruise smoothly on the motorway, but floor the accelerator and you hear a lovely deep rasp. This performance doesn’t come with a price at the pumps. The new GTI is better on fuel economy, up from 35mpg to 38.7mpg.”
In the Sunday Telegraph Seven Magazine Neil Lyndon looks at Hyundai and likes what he sees.
“Anybody who doubts that Far Eastern manufacturing corporations are going to eat Europe’s breakfast and lick the plate clean, should spend some time with the Hyundai i20.
In contrast with the rest of the commercial world, everything about the i20 radiates confidence, optimism and the feeling that it has been put together by people who not only know their business, but are loving and profiting from every moment of their work.
“That self assurance is reflected in Hyundai’s production and sales figures. While other carmakers are mothballing factories and restricting the development of new cars, Hyundai has been announcing increased sales so far this year.
“Car manufacturers’ sales figures may be as reliable as a Zimbabwean treasury official’s economic statistics, but it does look as though Hyundai is genuinely bucking the trend.
“The i20’s five- or three-door body is handsomely fuss-free. It doesn’t swirl and twirl to invite admirers but it is neat, pretty and functional. Would I buy an i20? Like a shot. Would I mind being seen in a Hyundai? Not a jot. What does this mean for European manufacturers? Big trouble.”